I have been in a similar situation except my partner put the brakes on things before the other relationship got “hot and heavy”. I understand the betrayal and hurt. I doubt it. Anger is not healthy but neither is having the hurt constantly bought up by having her stuff at your apartment and constantly having to deal with her. As much as you love her, she chose someone else and she shouldn’t get to have you too. You need to get on with your own life. You should not have to accept this situation. You may be two peas in a pod but there are other people out there. Give her a deadline to come and get her stuff and get her out of your life or have limited contact. You are not her doormat.

I really don’t know what to do, I love him so much and it hurts to see him in pain, it hurts to see that he feels all alone in this world

I found out that my husband of almost 5 years has transgender issues about 6 months ago. At first he told me about it and said that we needed to end our marriage, I don’t know if he said this because he didn’t want to continue on this marriage or if he said it because he thought I couldn’t accept it. A few years back he had mentioned that he had a fetish with cross dressing and I wasn’ t very supportive of that idea, maybe because I wasn’t ready for it. We agreed to continue with our marriage and went to some meetings with a marriage counselor, things got hard and we kind of lost the trust and communication between each other, I felt he wasn’t attracted to me anymore, even though he said he was, he just never wanted to have sex.

Would you accept this sort of behaviour if she wasn’t trans?

I left the country for a couple of months as I was trying to get away of this situation and I was hopping things would change. While I was away, he met this group of people that encouraged him about cross dressing webpage, suggested that he should start taking hormones – pretty much they told him to pursue being a female regardless of who got hurt in the process…while I was away he told me that he couldn’t wait anymore to start taking hormones (even though his therapist had not prescribed them yet, he e back he had taken all my things out of our house. When I went to talk to him, I found him so skinny and he looked so sad, he told me he had tried to kill himself a few times since this whole thing had started a month ago, but he was happy that he was finally able to cross dress and feel pretty, but that this wasn’t enough for him, that he needed to have a full transition and that he knew I couldn’t accept that so he was trying very hard to push me out of his life even though he felt lonely and unaccepted and he still loved me and cared for me.

I keep wondering if I realy can’t accept it or if it’s just the fact that I worry too much about what is my family is going to say if I decide to stay with him. I know he’s still the person I fell in love with, whether he is a man or a woman. I just don’t know if I can be ok with him completely changing to be a female, I do want to have kids eventually but I don’t even know if that would be possible if he has a full change.